WHEN PAIN BECOMES A STORY ABOUT YOUR WORTH

The moment itself was painful.

The breakup.
The rejection.
The diagnosis.
The email that said no.
The plan that fell apart.

But almost immediately, something else started….

The voice.

“I should’ve known.”
“This is my fault.”
“I ruin things.”
“I’m not enough.”
“I don’t get to have that kind of love.”

And that’s the part we don’t always question.

When something painful happens, your mind wants certainty. It wants a reason. And if there are gaps, it fills them in. Most of the time, it fills them in with something about you!

That’s how an event becomes a meaning.
And a meaning becomes an identity.

In this week’s video, I walk through how those identity stories form after loss, heartbreak, or disappointment… and offer a simple framework to help you separate what happened from what you decided it means about you.

Not to minimize the pain.
Not to bypass the grief.
But to loosen the shame.

Because there’s a difference between:

“The relationship ended.”
and
“I’m not lovable.”

“The job didn’t work out.”
and
“I’m not capable.”

The event may be real.
The identity story deserves a second look.

If you’ve been carrying a meaning that’s shaping how you show up, in love, in work, in life - this video will help you gently untangle it!

Watch the full video here - How to Stop Making Pain Mean Something About Your Worth

This conversation is part of a deeper series.

We started with the vows we make in pain the protective promises we create to guard our hearts.

Then we looked at the stories underneath those vows — the meaning we assign and how it shapes our identity.

And next, we go even deeper, into how those stories don’t just live in your thoughts… they live in your body.

If this resonates, you can move through the full series here:

→ Part 1: The Vows We Make in Pain
→ Part 2: When Pain Becomes a Story About Your Worth
→ Part 3: Why Your Body Still Reacts (Even When Your Mind Understands)

🖤 And if you want deeper support unwinding the vows, old stories and rebuilding trust in yourself, you can explore my private 1:1 Sunset to Sunrise coaching journey here .

Because awareness builds in layers. And so does healing!